So my soul pants for You, O God!

Reading Psalm 42 this mornings: As a deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God.  2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" 4 These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me.  For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, with the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival. 5 "Why are you in despair, O my soul? and why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. "
            ... I miss the the "throng", I miss the body of believers that met in the Lord's house with.... "a multitude keeping festival"... I miss my TCC family and this passage makes me think of the blessing that they were and are.  An early morning phone call from a dear friend who I met and prayed with weekly just furthers that longing for the body but more so that panting after Christ who is our great sustainer, who at one time blessed me with the body of TCC to help sustain me but who now I expectantly await will sustain still through other means.... More of Jesus is my cry..."all of you is more than enough for me,"  I want all of Him, I want the living God to breath words of life over me, to speak to my dry and weary soul and instill impenetrable joy and thanksgiving within my grumbling heart.  "When you walk through the fire, I will be with You"... knowing He is with me is amazing but the sin that oozes out of you when you are walking through heat is ugly... especially when you live in a fish bowl with everyone watching, analyzing, critiquing you.  Oh that my eyes would not look out of the bowl but up to my feeder/sustainer! Oh that my tail would swish with pizzazz as I make melody in my heart to God instead of belching out remnants of an ungrateful heart!  Eagerly I await you O God, eagerly I long for you to change my wicked heart, for your Spirit to make me fruity! Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control...oh would you come be a dear friend to me, would you well up inside of me and pour out of me lavishly? Hurry, oh patience, please hurry!